my best friend and I sat on the patio the other night. they asked about my woes, I told them. I asked about theirs, they told me. they’re going through a divorce from a young marriage. I recently ran into an old love, one that ended badly. we talked about love when you’re young. how big the love is. how it’s actually so big we don’t realize. we don’t know what to do with it. we fall into what we think we’re supposed to do with it. so we never really see how big it gets, how huge it really is to tether and tangle your life with someone else’s. even when it ends, there’s no doubt there was love there. to what extent and what fiber doesn’t really matter in the grand scheme of it all. we felt the big love. and it’s everywhere now. we carry so much of it with us. we think of it even when we don’t. I didn’t know what to do with it. so I did what I thought I was supposed to do. in ways, I failed it, failed the other person. but I look at it from the roof now and see what it was. next time, I hope I feel what to do with it. not a knowing, but a passing. a release of what its supposed to be so that it can be whatever it is and I’ll know it’s big and I’ll be present and I’ll cherish it.